For the past 5 weeks I have been completing my externship to finish of my training as a Pharmacy Technician. I have been getting up at 4:30 in the morning, sleeping an average of 4-5 hours a night, commuting 2 hours a day, working 8 hours unpaid at a hospital and then working at my regular job in the evening and arriving home at 10:30 at night. All for a dream that is not my own because I made a promise to my parents (and to myself) to finish the program. I have no intention of working as a Pharmacy Technician. There were several times that I wanted to quit, not because the hospital was so terrible, because it really wasn’t, but because I felt so much dissonance between what I was doing and my own beliefs about the use of prescription medication in our society (which is not something that I am going to get into here because that is not the purpose of this blog). If I can endure that and push through, just think what I can do now that I am free to focus 100% on my dreams!
I sacrificed a lot during the last 2 weeks especially when I was pulling 17 hour days and unable to get to the gym or fit in my regular workouts. This also meant that I was unable to push forward with my 5k training plan. It was really hard to feel like I had to put my dreams aside even though I knew that it was only temporary. But I knew that my body was exhausted and could not handle the workouts on top of the long days and lack of sleep. Now I am ready to get back to my training and back to my goals!
This week I am easing my way back into my workouts and not trying to start right back into 60-90 minute sessions. I know it should only take me a week to get back to that point though, so next week I will be back up to my full workouts again. This will get me back to where I need to be both for my 1st 5K run in June and my goal to hit an “overweight” BMI by my birthday (158 lbs… currently 184.2) in July. It will also prepare me to start my training to become a personal trainer in August.
I do have some decisions to make about my immediate and near future in terms of work and my living situation (both of which are perfectly fine right now) and where I want to go in those terms. My finances are the only area of my life that seem to be really out of balance right now, so I need to make some decisions to get that area of my life balanced out as well.
The important thing in all of this is that I am happy. Really, truly happy like I haven’t been in a really long time. I am feeling relaxed even though I have important decisions to make, and I am feeling motivated and excited about my goals. I am free to chase my dreams now… and I am going to catch them!!